(Edited One Act Play)

Rainbow

Characters (gay partners):

Bill

Frank

“Rainbow”

(Act 1)

(Curtain up. A flamboyantly dressed man slams down the Democrat and Chronicle newspaper with a front page article entitled, “The Prospect of Same Sex Marriage in NYS Nearly Impossible under the Bush Administration.”)

Bill:

 (Enraged screaming) Let freedom ring my ass!

INT: It is the summer of 2007 in upstate New York. A bubblegum pink Volkswagen Bug pulls into the driveway of the rainbow painted house. Frank, Bill’s lover walks over to his fuming boyfriend who is sitting in a rickety lawn chair on their front lawn.

Frank:

(Concerned) What’s wrong, sugar lips?

Bill:

(Passionately) I want to set our relationship in stone! I love you more than anyone Frank. Apparently the institution of marriage is a hoax. It is for those who want health insurance and tax breaks. According to the D and C the Bush administration deems our relationship unworthy of such benefits. Well here’s what I say to that no good cow-tipping redneck of a president of ours. He can go back to his simple life on a farm where his simple mind can join him and leave us folk in peace. This is the 21^st century; he better open his mind to this reality.

Frank:

Or what, Sug? We have no control. We are only one couple, and a couple we will stay with or without a rock! For god’s sake Bill, do you realize how long it has taken the Jews, women, blacks and all other the other wild cards in America to be treated as equals? Our time will come, be patient! I’m not going anywhere.

Bill:

Whatever Frank, as the wise Beyonce once said to the single ladies, “If you liked it then you should have put a ring on it!” Soon I’ll be singing that diva’s tune to you.

Frank:

You already do, you diva. Let’s hope for the best, but expect the worst. After all, gays will be gays and we certainly aren’t the last of them!

EXT:

The realist and the dreamer leave their front yard to go back into their home resembling nothing short of a Provincetown house in the midst of the infamous gay pride parade. The couple prepares for their garage sale the following day. 

Inside Bill and Frank’s House- Continued:

Before lifting a finger for the garage sale the next day, Frank falls asleep on the couch watching the Ellen Degeneres show. Bill hastily gathers his beloved collection of 1980’s Ken dolls with a vast array of neon clothing choices for dress up from the fireplace mantle. He sets up two long tables in the front yard. Here he props up a bunch of old relics for sale, including the Ken dolls. Bill props the Ken dolls in Kama Sutra pornographic positions. Many of the Ken dolls have their pants dropped and appear to be fondling each other in a X-rated manner. Frank wakes up three hours later.

Frank:

(Stands up off the couch) Where did all the Ken dolls on the mantle go?

Bill:

(Sitting on the other couch pouting) I’m selling them! It’s time to get real and deal.

Frank:

(With a monotone voice staring blankly at Bill) I think you’re overreacting.

Bill:

(Spitefully) No, if I were a woman this would be considered overreacting! But men don’t have feelings and not being able to marry you doesn’t hurt my feelings.

Frank:

(Under his breath) Diva... (Walks away)

Bill and Frank’s House-Continued: The couple falls into a deep slumber on opposing sides of the bed.

EXT: The garage sale comes fast the next morning. Bill and Frank make their way separately outside. The couple sits on different sides of the front yard, each at a different table. A long pause follows, and neither Bill nor Frank makes a peep to one another. Their first customer is a devout Catholic grandmother from the south accompanied by her young grandson. Her grandson points and looks in confusion at the Ken dolls Bill posed suggestively. The grandma takes one look at the display of Ken dolls seemingly having an orgy and falls to the ground. She has a heart attack. Her grandson screams to the couple for help.

Frank:

(Pissed off) What the hell did you do you wisenheimer!?

Bill:

(Panics) It was just a practical joke. No need to get your panties in a bunch!

Frank:

(Serious) Call the ambulance you buffoon! Stop wasting time, this lady is going to croak!

Bill:

(Quickly dials 911 on his pink BlackBerry) Send an ambulance to 42 Bateau Terrace! A woman just had a heart attack on my front lawn. (Hangs up)

(Curtain down.)